well...todae....morning...ok lah...SW2..as usual play badminton...at 1st is play wif sam..then i ask shera whose playing wif JANE beside nid 1 more ppl...i don noe they heard it wrongly or wat...jsne jus suddently ask shera come over my side..then i go over tat side..ok...nvm..jus go...ok..playing wif JANE...hmm...she use a lot of smap...argh*cant catch her ball...im running all over the place instead...okk...then is like her smap is so stronge...didn reali dare to get her ball...then after...got BSA..at B2/104...okk...going side...then i stright away on my com...then..coz got 1/2 hr break mah..so i go out lor...to canteen n eat...then...i come back..c sue's msg o...okk..reply her...then oso chat wif shu ee lah...gonna do smth abt the form thingy...then...sufing net,doing my BSA assignment...then...hmm...i go out again don noe do wat lah...saw sue...she looks sad..ask her..then is like sad coz (someone) did wanna attend her party lor..okk...confort her...hoping she'll feel better...ya...so now im fine liao...so happy..can eat well liao...but kinda worried for sue...gonna think of some way to cheer her up...haha...okk...gonna pen off here...

well...todae...is a lonely day for me...tats wat i though in the morning when coming to sch... well....not so bad lah..todae....hv lessons till 11 then hv 2 hrs break..1st hr wif betty,agatha they all lor...hv omelette rice...hmm...been able to eat well liao....haha....although still feel "dying" but is much better...then after tat...around 12...send betty they all to co-op tat side...then off they go to suntec...(a pity..im not selected to go lor...)okk...then feel lonely...then...esther saw sue they all....so jus went to them....told them im lonely...then chit chat a bit...haha...then...sit down...everyone buy thier food...well,i hv my lunch liao..so i jus buy drink lor....then,after tat we hv a wonderful lunch together...feel so gr8...after tat...they go n watch badminton class competition while i went for Mrs Tay's EFW lessons...well...went to B2/204...boring...not so good...gonna suffer 2hrs....then though our lessons wd end at 5 coz Mrs Seam wanna get us to do some work...haiz...but good news jus ahead...we r let off at 4...haha...then so continued doing EFW assignment..then after tat,monitress called Mrs Seam...tcher say we r let off at 3...haha...even better....haha...okk....so all my classmate went home..but im alone..don wanna go home alone jus like tat....so sms sue...they r hving tok(Managing anger)...i went up to 4th lvl...then,jus nice...they r hving break...then...esther wanna go home liao....okk..then bye to esther...sue n lai ling pulled me into thier class....haha...at 1st feel anioux....feel nervous....then slowly..adapting to my surrounding...feeling better...wow...OG they can jus laugh out loud....thier class is filled wif fun and laugter..haiz...unlike my class...filled wif competitors...stress..like during war like tat....cant even laugh out loud like OG they all....argh* y cant we jus relax n enjoy...y must my class be so up to standard....argh*..wat so-called "best class"....don think so....argh* okk...then after tat...receive a msg frm esther...uh oh....not a very positive msg....haiz..here comes my sorrow...argh* but heck care lah....argh*...okk...then went home wif prapa...hmm...his very tall..gonna look up when talking to em....haha....or should i say im too short??...lolz.....ya....so...is ok ok liao....don worry gals....(frenz)...i'll be ok...kk....

argh*todae is ok lah....at least appetities is back

argh*todae is ok lah...at least my appetities is back a little...can finish a plate of ommelett rice todae...haha..finelly....after so many days of skipping meals...haha...ya..then tml got my BKK CA....haix.....don noe can catch up wif the class a not leh....my faith is sitll a little....like onli hv 28% of faith lor...hmm....trying not to think too much...well...day by day....although i still feel rather down lately...but gonna push myself up...if not will lag behind one mah....ya...then tml,my class 25 ppl going suntec for a career field trip lor...onli selected students going onli..well,agatha,betty,yvonne,samantha,xue ping,malay gals,debra and natasha...in class going lor..left me, JANE, shera,esther..3 guys not going lor..haiz....then todae..i hv my late breakfast(Bunch) at canteen...Mrs Seam came...haix...she busy counting the consent form for tml trip...haix...then,she told us tat those in our class very pity cannot go...(which brings me sinking...)then say tat she jus told d rest who not going an excuse tat not enf money to bring all of us go...wat an excuse...lame lor...don noe she don noe or forgot...im 1 of d grp tats not going lor...say like tat in front of me...hurts man....faith drop lor...haix....then she put her files at our table here..went to buy food...i think she wanna sit down n eat wif us...man...i don wan...she's here...im stressed....then after she went to get her food...my OG fren(Sue,Joyce,Lai Ling,Praba) came...haha...then we chat chat lor...then Mrs Seam came liao...though she still wanna sit wif us..haha..but she sit wif d others students instead..phew*thnx to my OG fren man...haha...then...we jus like chat a while then they go off for thier lessons...we oso go off for our lessons lor...then after tat...our BSA lessons chatting online msn wif lai ling,joyce n sue..haha...chatting abt all kinds of things lah...haha...(we all so bad...chatting instead of hving lessons properly...haha...)ya...then..after tat...my lessons finish...came out....then all of d sudden...joyce came in fornt of me then boo...haha..so funny...then sue oso...so funny..alll of d sudden found her beside me...haha..ya..then chat chat a while they nid to go for lessons...so i go home lor...haha...then at home...chat again..online wif sue they all lor..haha...they still at sch lah..haha...ya...so todae...hmm...ok-ok lor...ya..hope tat tml will be better...

well,3rd day of skipping a few meals...

haiz...haiz...still don feel like eating..no appetitie....how......haiz....too sad still....too much pressure....feel like crying....cant w8 tat tis wk is over...than at least can don see Mrs seam for the nxt few wks....always feel giddy,headace,stomachach...lost of appetitie....argh* getting frm bad to worst....argh*don noe can hold on for how long man...argh*feel like crying again....didn noe watta do....who can save me....im so depressed...who.....who can get me outta tis dark world...im sinking in again....argh*tat sucide feeling is back again...how....don wanna die yet...but feeling so dark...i cant see bright light in front of me....n....oso got stress frm my frenz too...(Jane)...is like again...wat ever i do....is childish n baby to her....y....she aim me not others....she always like to bullet me....argh*....sob..sob...sob....1st word frm her...so hurtful...pains in my heart...sank deeper....how...i reali feel like killing myself again....sinking deeper in tis darkest world....how....cant help it....argh*....cant even catch up my best subject...OFP....is like suddently even my best subject OFP oso constanly failing liao...how.....argh*argh*argh*sob...sob..sob...how.....how....sob..sob..sob...sob...

1st time going out wif frenz onli..my sis not tagging along..

todae i 1st time going out wif frenz onli..without my sis tagging along..feels so happy...coz can feel like more freedom lor..then saw joyce at MRT stations..so go up n look for sue in train then found her we ran in lor...then sue show us her phone..then she play my fav english song, "have you ever" by S club...haha...very touching..(thnx ya..sue..)well,gr8 experience lah...although tis is me 2nd time going to the church(Yhope) lor...everything is the same...oso very lucky tat get to see the same paster...hehe...he's very funny...crak quite a number of jokes..then hv dinner wif joyce,her sis and sue lor...we had chicken rice lah..haha..ok lah...but coz due to stress,still don feel like eating even though hungry so onli eat a bit..then after tat,go attenda "mini farewell/birthday party..so we all sing songs..say prayers..then after coz its getting late so we r gohome lor..then jus got home...okk...gonna pen off here..wanna chexck mail liao..hehe..

a very happy n feeling so...good...

tis is taken on christmas eve 2004 wif my best grp of sec sch frens...
tis is taken at my Motivator's party..
tis is taken wif some of my ITE frens,betty,me,sue,li ling, agatha and my SW2 teacher

todae,i feel so happy...i feel like im suddently so light..is like nothing is pressing on me..i feel like off loading liao...i don't feel so heavy...like flying free in the blue sky...feels very good...thnx for all ur encouragement....at least i have a bit of this confidents liao...at least i can tell myself...i can do it...sharon,i can do it..belive in it...thnx....thnx for all my frens who have been caring for me...n oso been concern for me too....thnx....so...i gonna do all my best at the interviews,jobs,studies and exams...of coz including my favourite...MUSIC!!!!haha....ya....tats all...then all above is all the pictures i hv wif all my frens...

gd news for me...hahahahaha...

tats betty,me,sue,li ling,agatha and my SW2 teahcer...

hahaha...sue todae tell me tat i hv a chance to sing a 1 yr contract ....i hv w8 for 4yrs since...im so happy tat i don noe how to thnx her...im reali gald...im jus so happy man..finelly...jus love music...when im young..i usually envious those kids who learn how to play music...i oso wished to..but coz my parents aren't so rich..n learning music is expensive...then when i went to sec sch..i got into the band...leanr to play clarinet for half the yr...due to some reason...i quit...but i went to join chior later when im sec 3 n still learn music...but then when im sec 4..i pass down frm my CCA...since then..i did not touch music for almost a yr...but now finelly...lol...

yeah..finelly got my pay..

well,todae i actually did much better than yesterday..coz reali remember where the stocks were,prices of the products..and how to serve the customers..then oso very tiring coz gonna stand whole day frm morning 9.30am to 6pm...my legs hurt a lot after the long hours of standing...todae,not so nervous..can say i did not bad ya...accept still a bit nervous...but is ok...im begining to accept the reality...how works go abt...ya...begining to realise of how the world is abt oso...but i belive i can make it...bcoz if i don take out my 1st step i can nv e like others to be so sucessful and indepedent...haha...ok,gonna rest..tata...

a tiring day for me...

well,todae is my 1st day of my 2 days job...its my 1st time doing a customers service job..so of coz im nervous...when i started serving the 1st customer i saw...she asked me the price of the shirt..so i told her the price...my voice was shaking....argh* ok..then she wanted the shirt so i got her a new set of it...i find all the stock behind the clothings...bcoz i know where the stocks was..so its easy for me n got the shirt for the customers quick...well,the continued serving customers helping out and getting what customers need...untill around 1++pm i got my lunch..its chicken rice...normally i would eat quite a lot...and is able to finish the food...but i cant finish the food todae..onli mange to finish more than half a bit....coz of nervousness....haiz..always like tat,if im nervous i 'll either drink a lot of water if not i ate a little...or i cant finsh my food...oh well,then after lunch..contiued serving customers...then all the way till 6++pm then i board the bus home...well,a very tiring but good experience day for me...coz i 1st time serving...hmm....not bad for todae...hope tomorrow can do better...and is able to smile naturely when serving customers coz i didn manage to smile todae and is again coz of nervousness....

todae a little lucky day for me...

haha...my idol...JJ Lin Jun Jie

well,todae..suppose to have BKK test but my teacher last minute then tell us no test for today,she has postpone it to nxt monday...YEAH YEAH YEAH...im so darm happy man...yes...i can hv a little bit more time to prepared then...haha...

carevolutions on last sunday...

and tis is taken recently on last sunday..see the diffrences??we all change...hahaha

tis is taken at Jan tis yr

well,the carevolutions is fun..at taka there...after the performances n the competitions...after tat we across the road to the donnoe wat square there n took some neoprints..n tis is wat we hv... but i cherish them a lot..hope to see them again soon...haha...n do volunteering work again...

yeah!!!todae is JJ's autograph sessions at IMM!!!

todae,i went to IMM to watch JJ's autograph sessions...rearch there aroud 4.30pm but it start at 5pm so i jus stood there and waited for half an hour and then he appear..the whole asmospher jus suddently high up...he is in pink panter's t-shirts wif a pink jackets...looks pretty cool..then he sung us)(fans) a few songs,everyone kept waving at him,me too and shouting at him,of coz not me lah..im very quite...haha...then is tat,i 1st time can stand so near him n is able to see him clearly unlike tat time,when i see him for the 1st time at Nee Ann City,the Yes 9.33FM streetconcert...very far away,cant reali see him clearly...haha..so is very happy...but i forgot to took some photo of him...ai ya....so i onli came back after 7++pm then took the stage's pix..haha...so at least lor...still happy lor...then i hv my dinner wif mum and sis at the kopitiam at lvl 4,met tian ling there,she hv her dinner wif her family too...lolz...but bad thing for me,when im bring my food over to my seats..i seal my hand..oh no....its swollen...very pain leh...haiz...don care jus eat...then went home the bubble tat goes very swollen after being seal is brust..argh*very very painful....so i jus stick a plaster over it...then jus carry on wif my work...hmm...tml im going to the CARE carevoluntions..hmm...nv being to it b4...gonna find out frm the CARE staff....haha.....

haha,yesterday went to watch "The Maid" at clementi..

haha,yesterday went to watch "The Maid" at clementi..hmm...starting ok lah..then after tat,a bit scary lor....then slowly not so scary leh..kinda boring instead....a lot of dilect words is spoken inside,so sometimes may not reali understand what they are talking abt...so i read the subtitles lor...but hor...the bass of the sound is very lound sia...argh*then,somemore watching it at clementi de Theatre...my friend who stay there b4 told me,clementi's movie theatre is the most scariest and hunted theatre...coz.... its dirty..and u noe what i mean by "dirty"....n i went inside,at 1st,i cant see anything coz i got serious night blindness...then slowly i can see the chairs..and everything inside...but i oso can see some dark "shadows" there i can 100% comfrim its not human...n i noe it...i belive in wat i saw....oso watching wif us..some at the door..some at the top...some behind..but tat does not brother me...i jus enjoy my movie...then at there,not full hse so onli a few ppl watching lor..we brought along our pop corns,sea weeds and some mineral water...so i jus ate n drink a lot....then after the whole show,my words n comments for the show is....Ok ok lah...not so scary lor....but kinda boring....but coz of tis movie,i get to noe somemore things of my chinese culture...hehe....

finally the ghost month is over...

ok...ghost month is voer..finally...ha...now i can finelly watch the movie"The Maid" n go for a swim maybe at west coast swimming complex lor...haiz...holidays for sec sch n primary sch...but studying time for us....haiz....ok...then is tat my test results is out..hmm....not very good....im too slacking liao...must work hard liao,buck up more liao....haiz..then on 2 sep,i hv look up Mr Neo n requested him if he can ask Mrs Jayln Tay to come over our campus to teach us fun dancing and fun singing....and he said he will write her a letter asking abt the price for the dance...if its deal,we'll pay by edusave...hopefully its not to expensive lor...then i oso mention it to be ite-wide so that other students from other ITEs can join in too....hopefully its a deal then i can learn dancing....nobody knowas abt tis yet...onli wendy knows....ya...hehe...

okk,a few days nv write blogs liao...

ok,its been a few days since i last wrote blogs...well,feeling much better...not so stress le...not so bad liao....but..still kinda sad....n a bit...haiz*my test results were out liao,results...arent so good as i think...jus pass the border line onli.....im jus too slack le....haiz*gonna start working hard liao...well,yesterday,i went for the 1st lessons for my CCA,pottery club...well,we learn how to wage the clay,then smooth it into a pot....well,not bad lah...i can say still quite good....well,on 29 oct is shu ee's b'dae..gonna celebrate her b'dae at east coast bearch..we be having BBQ...gonna invite all the CARE teachers,staff,some of her frens,us(StrengthZ) and a few of the ITE frens too...haha...tats still quite a long way though...oh yeah...the Project surperstar finals...haiz*Kelly Pan Jia Liactually loses to Kelvin Chen Wei Lian....haiz*but i still perfer Kelly...Kelly,i support u all the way!!!!

still feeling sad..n feeling a lot of stress...

sigh*got a lot of stress,jus heard frm Mrs seam tat there will be a test b4 she leave for inplantach..sigh*must she like tis...hmm..feeling very tired n sleepy todae..coz today is the 1st day of sch right after our 1wk holiday....ya...so still quite dreamy...lolz...better wake up lor...haha...n so,todae's lessons,nth much quite went into my head...ya....cant reali learn properly..still day dream a lot......ya.....n oso still feel a lot of pressure...don noe can stand untill when....sigh*maybe cant hold much longer liao...gonna fall anythime frm now...sigh*sob..sob...sob...sigh*i cry again....again,im hurt oso..when i read...sigh*sob..sob..sob...

Our sec sch class gathering at east coast todae...

Yup...todae is my sec sch class gathering at east coast...hmm....arrived abit late there....so we(swee soon,sis,shu ee,tian ling,weiling and me)all took taxi/cab to east coast lor...me,sis took cab wif swee soon while shu ee,tian ling and weiling took another cab...hehe...they arrived there 1st follow by us..hmm...our taxi fare is abt $4.50,then shu ee they all is $6++...haha..the taxi driver cheat their money sia...ok...then when rearch there i very excited n ran to the beach there....hehe..cuz long time nv go beach side liao...wow...to hear the sound of the wind at the beach side...so darm smooth....luv it.....close ur eyes n listen to the sound make by the sea wave..slowly bend down..touch the sea water...its warm...tat feeling is reali relaxing man..then,we all put our bag at the beanch where sin yi is BBQing lor...then we all go play...left Sin yi n wei wen there BBQing,preparing food lor..then we all go play play...then awhile later we hv our food...bee hoon,BBQ chicken,Crabsticks,hotdogs lor...hehe...then is tat after awhile i go walk walk wif tianling jus the two of us,shu ee wif swee soon n sis wif weiling lah...then i told tian ling a lot of things...abt my ite life...my NDP story...how i met all my NDP frens....yeah...talking abt all tat i reali miz it man...lolz...then,chit chat for some time go back...again..we take cab..tis time is me,betty n tian ling 1 cab,shu ee,weiling n swee soon another cab..then tian ling instruct the deriver go bedok MRT station mah..then after the driver go on the way awhile told the driver to take shorter road lah...i think he ok ok lah...then,i remember wat swee soon told us abt the directions...hmm...it seems luk the driver is taking a longer raod leh...i ask the driver,:"uncle,u took a longer raod izit.."then tian ling added:,"hor...u cheat us ar...i copy ur car no then report to police ar.."then,we rearch the station liao..then is $6.60 mah but the taxi driver jus ask us to pay $4...haha...think he noe liao...lolz....when i rearch home is abt 11++pm liao...sigh*bit tiring...but fun lor...hehe..then oso get to meet a lot of the ex-calssmate lah..hmm..change a lot...but still the same...haha...okk....sigh*reali tiring liaop...my brain system gonna shut down liao...nid to rest liao...gonna pen off here...

a so called"busy day" for me...

hmm....sorta tired for me cuz gonna wake up very early todae...although todae is holiday(tis whole day holiday lor..)still hv to go to sch...y?cuz nid ti help out teacehr cuz the sec5 coming to our campus to hv a learning journey here lor...sigh*so..arrive at sch quite early.....then saw esther,xue ping n yvonne sitting there at one of d tables in canteen..so went to them..ask them where's teacher...then teacher come lor....then..we were told to fetch the sec4s(frm jin tai sec n Bukit batok sec)so..jin tai sec come liao..but didn c the bukit batok sec ppl leh.....then we jus w8 lor....for abt almost an hour..my teacehr come down n told us tat the bukit batok students went to the wrong campus..they go to Dover ITE instead of here(Clementi ITE)lolz....so a few of us follow teacher to take the Jin Tai sec to LT....then a few of us include me w8 for bukit batok sec students in canteen lor...then..is tat was preety boring wan lor....nth to do....so darm boring lor....sigh*then when at abt 9++am...we bring the Jin Tai sec students to canteen for lunch...its packet food...got rice,hotdogs..an egg and a chicken wing....so we give them thier food..then jus watch them eat in canteen lor....hmm.....a few of the food was for us..my fren eat lor,i didn eat cuz don feel like eating...no appetities....sigh*stress lor..wanna eat but is luk very full....so i nv eat lor...anyway got used to it...yesterday i oso skip a meal.....i guess tis few day i might skip a few meals...ya..due to stress..don feel luk eating....sigh*ok..ok...back to todae...then at canteen,while watching the students eating,wendy came down frm don noe where...i ask her her SC secssion finish liao ar...she say ya lor...so gd leh...they all finish can go home liao....then she say no lar...yesterday they oso got do n is frm 9++am to 3++pm....i told her me is frm morning 7.45am to untill abt 4++pm...then she say opps......hahahaha...lolz...then,i bid farewell to her n off she goes lor....then,there comes 2 of the students frm bukit batok sec....darly offer them the food which is we not suppose to lor...haha...its a misunderstanding liao...uh ohh....lolz....nvm...the teacher say is ok.....luckily teacher got order extra leh..heng....heng....haha....then,after thier lunch,birng them on tour lor....i too tired liao..so i stay in canteen to look after the things,sam n jan went along wif teacher n took the students around the sch for tour lor....then,here comes the whole grp of students frm bukit batok sec who gone to Dover ITE instead of here lor....hmm...late late....ok...can understand...but...BAD BAD ATTITUDE....very bad.....still oso not in sch U....hmm...a very bad image on thier sch...ya....ok...then teacher ask us to gather them back in LT...ok lor..so we gather them all back to LT...then is tat Jan was put in charge to take photo of the students when they r all on thier Learning journey at our campus...so jan took quite a number of pix....one of the students wear white spgetties wif Livis Jeans Bo Song Jan lor....Jan do nth but jus taking pix cuz she was ask to do so..then tat students Bo song..wat the hell man..late already nvm....still Bo Song my fren n teachers there....wat the hell man....nv seen a student whose same age as me luk tat b4 man....wat the......so we all heck care lah....then,got them all up to the BIT lab3&4...ok...all went up...im left outside cuz i dont wanna go in..so i stay outside..cuz they all hv training sessions at the labs mah..wat 4 i go in....funny leh....so i heck care jus w8 outside lor..then few mins later few of my fren come out w8 lor...cuz there's nth we can do when they hv training sessions mah....so is very boring....then wordering off myself....then come back to Labs outside...take the students downstair to LT again..get them to do a survey pass them the ITE brochue...then send them off....so i can say is todae,a lot of free time,a lot of things to carry,a lot of ppl to chase after....but a gd point is,we get to hv a lot of FREE FOOD....lolz.....hahaha...so its ok for me lor....haha...then left sch around 3.22pm...go to clementi there n watch my fren they all play pool lor...(well,i don n don noe how to play pool so watch lor)haha..but i can be certain is tat tats not my type of game...a bit boring watching them play pool...then somemore a lot of other guys around oso playing so feeling sorta uncomfortable....so after an hour we all take the MRT n go home lor....haha....then is tat now still got stress lor...sigh*hv not overcome it.....sigh*sigh*..sob..sob....

By: Richard MarxTitle: At The Beginning

we were strangers, starting out on a journeyNever dreaming, what we'd" have to go throughNow here we are, i'm suddenly standingAt the beginning with youNo one told me i was going to find youUnexpected, what you did to my heartWhen i lost hope, you were there to remind meThis is the startAnd life is a road that i wanna keep goingLove is a river, i wanna keep flowingLife is a road, now and forever, wonderful journeyI'll be there when the world stops turningI'll be there when the storm is throughIn the end i wanna be standingAt the beginning with youWe were strangers on a crazy adventureNever dreaming, how our dreams would come trueNow here we stand, unafraid of the futureAt the beginning with youAnd life is a road that i wanna keep goingLove is a river, i wanna keep flowingLife is a road, now and forever, wonderful journeyI'll be there when the world stops turningI'll be there when the storm is throughIn the end i wanna be standingAt the beginning with youKnew there was somebody, somewhereA new love in the darkNow i know my dream will live onI've been waiting so longNothing's gonna tear us apartAnd life is a road that i wanna keep goingLove is a river, i wanna keep flowingLife is a road, now and forever, wonderful journeyI'll be there when the world stops turningI'll be there when the storm is throughIn the end i wanna be standingAt the beginning with youYeahLife is a road that i wanna keep going onLove is a river, i wanna keep goingStarting out on a journeyLife is a road that i wanna keep goingLove is a river, i wanna keep flowingIn the end i wanna be standingAt the beginning with you

feeling sad everytime when i read tis....but feeling excited for the motivators party coming up later...

okk...so here r some of the photo taken on 20/8/05 motivators part at simei ite...fun..fun..fun..but very touching...gonna cry liao...sob..sob..sob...im reali gonna miz all the fun i had wif u guys(motivators n mentors,team leaders)during NDP....frm the start..to the end...i hope to see u guys again nxt yr cuz im going in again...wish u guys all the best!!!u guys ROX!!!!!lolz...

ok..jus come back frm the party at simei ite...wow...i manage to take the last train home....1st time taking last train....ok...todae party...very fun...but is extreme touching....coz we view some video clips....abt us(motivators)from starting....May....audition...untill on national day...actual day performance......yeah.....so touching......then todae everyone was well dress....but funny leh...li ting(one of our team leaders)told us to wear smart casual formal....how come most of the ppl wearing formal???argh*who cares...i jus wear how i normally wd wear on special occasions...i don normally wear luk todae....hehe.....normally,i jus wear a T-shirt,3 quater pants...tats all....haha.....then,todae,arrived late there lor....cuz gotta w8 for agatha mah...its ok lah....then,cuz we arrived there but didn see wendy,li ting or chirs anywhere...so didn dare go in...so i called wendy n ask her come out take us in lor...hehe...(thnx u ya...)then,out of nowhere...chris suddently pop out...haha....funny rite....ok lah...then,they finish thier food 1st so they go up 1st...whereas me,betty,agatha and rainbow(a new fren)eat our food lor...then,i onli eat a little cuz again due to my stressness affect me lor..so cant manage to eat much lah...sigh*everytime got stress cannot eat ar....sigh*then,i comfrim going back to sch to help out on the arrived sec4s for thier tour around our sch lor....sigh*nv been on such event b4...ok lor..try it out lor....then,i oso comfrim %100 sure wanna join in again for nxt yr NDP....NDP2005Motivators u ROXZ.....n Motivators of green sectors..u Rulez man...luv u guys!!!!!hahaha.......lol.....

u

everytime,i read tis...i got sad..and at nitez...sometimes cant sleep becoz been thinking of it....so use a lot of work as excuse to force myself not to think of it.....use homewoks,results,my favourite tv shows and japanese anime to stop myself.....sigh*better stop it.....gonna get ready n dress up for later party...sob*sigh*.........thinking so dark......darkness.......sigh*sigh*sigh*.....don care lah...jus enjoy myself n don think much abt it....tats it....pour it all out n go.....

feeling blue...and....lonely...

hmm...todae....very pertatic man,,,onli 12 ppl come for class and only for 1 hr onli...haha....ok ...ok....i finelly passed my 2.4m run....yeah...so happy....finelly,16.37 is my timming...better liao...hehe....then,go to B6/01 for BSA....do nth leh..so play wif the com lor....read ppl's blog....play online games....check hotmail....then kana locked inside by Mrs chan....my fren come looking for me oso cannot enter the room...so she stand outside...i pass her the money frm underneath the door lor....then a few mins later,Mrs chan come open the door....so boring todae....feel so quite...maybe becuz onli a few of us come for lessons lor...then oso,i 1st time alone board bus to sch n home myself...normally my sis or frens will come wif me one...so feeling a bit scared cuz im 1st time alone boarding bus lor...then around 11++am board the bus 188 then go home lor...bus 188 very long leh...waited almost 30 mins....sigh*on coming wed still nid to report to sch at 7.45am to help teacher to sort of take care the sec 4 students who is coming to visit our campus lor....n nid to help teacher take the food frm Nan Hua Pri for the sec 4s...argh*ok lor...nvm....wont kill me to help teacher out rite....haha....then,must help take he sec 4 tour around.....then get them to LT to fill in the survery form then end of the day....feeling a bit scared leh...1st time to go wif my 2 SC fren to take students tour around....hehe......than...thinking of what to wear for tml's party at simei....hmm....don noe leh....but comfirm wearing a white colored top...hehe....must look nice nice ar....its last time liao....to get to see all my NDP frens....then going on diet...wanna slim down my tummy n legs...hmm...maybe getting to do a lot of excirse...haha....wanna get my weight frm 47kg to 38kg...hehe....

holidays is coming soon...

photo taken after the whole NDP(actual day)... yeah!!!!holidays is coming soon..finelly...can rest liao....hmm...but still got a lot more things to do on holidays...ya....then,might be going back to CARE to help out....got time mah...so decide to go back to CARE to help lor...hehe....today is feeling blue...blur blur...emotional..when thinking of....Shake head*stop thinking of....forcus on work lah...im so childish..how can i noe wats it....argh* o yea...btw....our campus(ITE clementi) is hving a watson 80 discount sale at the MPH...fr, today to end of aug...ya....if free,come c c leh...hehe....

i feel like im living in the most darkness concer of this world...

wat is happening to me....y....y....y i kept thinking of something i don wanna think of....y it jus kept coming across my mind....even when im sleeping...or even dreaming...it jus come into my mind....y wd i wanna noe more abt...it......hv i reali.......am i running away???if i were someone else..tat wd be gd....i can hv my freedom....even if i hv a bf,my family members will not object to it....i wanna be free.....who...who will set me free.....who will get me outta tis darkness???sob*sob*sob*way too many for me to take in man....try hard not to think abt it...remember jus as normal.....but i cant.....too hard....i'll hurt d other gal if i say it out....im forcusing more on my homework....trying to control myself....sigh*jus too hard....after reading d blog,feels so much....sad.....wat the heck am i doing????better stop it..back to work..back to work...

poor poor me!!!im sick todae!!!!argh*feeling so uneasy...

feeling so.....

argh*so so so,yesterday im sneezing whole days is a warning to me...meaning im going to be sick....argh*early todae in the morning,im at school feeling so weird,how come my whole body feels so hot and my head is so heavy...but still i went to retake my NAFA 2.4m run lor....but i fail again and even in a worst timing then last friday...ya....my sis and my friend evvon,they both r so fast,im running as fast as i can liao,but my legs kept hurting...its hurts a lot man...so everytime after i run abt half d round i hv to stop down...then,my sis kepp on wanting to pull me to run faster,but i cant...then,at BSA lessons,i kept calling out agatha to help me out on my work,she nv reali heard me or wat lah...so in a anger of fustrated i shouted in class....(sry leh,agatha...but tat time i reali felt very terrible and got no extra energy to call out on u nicely)then agatha then realised im calling out on her.....then,when i rearch home,i took my lunch,and then,before i took my pills,i took my temperture...OMG....its 39.1degree....its nearly 40 degree....so i took my pills and went to rest...from 1++pm sleep untill abt 6++pm and woke up...felt better now...my fever has gone...now my temperture is 37.5 degree...hmm...better now...but im still sneezing....and i still felt so weak man....but still got a lot of work nid to do...ya.....so die die oso must REN...sigh*wat to do,do lor...do all my work lor...no matter how hard or tired i am,do lor....

a very tired and wore out day...

that's me!!!!

haha....todae,im darm tired out...can say im so wore out liao...not much energy todae,but i already miz out yesterday's lessons...so must go to sch todae lor...then,somemore,yesterday must rushed up my sch project till todae morning abt 3am then can go to sleep....so darm tired lor...then,wake up at 6++am,get ready,then go to sch...teacher teaching,im sleeping there....so wat ever wat d teacher are teaching,nth went into my head...lol....then,the moment i woke up in the morning,ikept sneezing man..w8 ar...(sneezn*)opps....there i go again.....my body is so shakey todae....ya.....so can say,im jus so tired...i can even sleep standing up stright when im borading the bus to sch....reali....w8 ar....(sneezn)argh*hate it man...so cold.....argh*heck care lah.....still got so many work to do,a lot of WS to do,given on wed..(d day im resting at home)argh*so much more to catch up ya....ar...jus so darm tired out....felt so weak....ar...heck care....gonna watch japanse anime untill 12pm....haha...then tml still nid to retake my NAFA 2.4m rum..argh...so tired....sigh*watta do...don wan oso die die must lor.....then,after the NAFA test,still must go accompany my frens they all to go K-box.....oh well,im always so busy ya....wish i can hv a whole week rest...so good man.....

opps...there i go again....

a new day todae after yesterday(NDP)

hihi,argh...darm tired out todae...ya...sleep till around 9.30am then wake up lor...todae got mock test but never go lor..too tired liao....haha...so todae never got to sch for lessons lor...argh*miz 2 lessons...its ok lah..2 lessons onli....my attendance still wont be affected much ya....ok...ok...here's some pix taken during NE show 1,NE show 2,NE show 3 and Preview ya... haha....we are sure having lots of fun ya.....gonna miz all tis fun days...lol....all d fun we had....ya....its a great experience for me cuz i 1st time participated in tis event ya....haha....im glad tat i hv participate in tis event cuz i learn a lot of things and make a lot of new frens ya......i guess nxt yr,i might be taking part in it too...haha...ya...and....haha.....thinking of those days sure make me feel happy and enjoyable....

today is national day!!!!!!!!

ya ya ya...so happy but darm tired man...jus got home from padung lah....todae ya.....is actual day liao...we were infromed tat d motivators party will b held at Simei ITE on 20th aug 2005 and it'll start at 5.30pm to 8.30pm...ya....gonna go there cuz its last last time liao lohhaha..todae lots and lots of fun ya....we got our last last rehearsal befored going to perfrom liao...than,we got our lunch at abt 12(i guess),its rice wif some mix peas and a chicken...than,we all took lots of photos...than we got our new fun pack lor...wif a lot of stuff inside luk foods,drinks,magazines...discount coupons....and many more lah...than,we have our dinner at abt 3/4++pm...its KFC lor...better than d past few KFC lor....tis time,got a durmsticks,few nuggets and a smash potato......ya....than soon we were load out to perform liao...wow....todae high and fun man...haha....ok......here's a few pix we took todae....jus now earlier on one....

yeah!!!tml is d actual national day!!!!

ealol...todae,stay at clementi campus to tend our class stalls for todae's national day celebreations...then,went back to sec sch abt 10++am for speech day...met a lot of my ex-classmates and frens lor.....wow.....they sure change lot more prettier,handsome and mature ya.....then,afetr tat tat,went to west mall to met up my another sec sch fren(Tian Ling) \who is currently studying at Bukit batok ite....to watch charlie and the chocolate factory...ended up playing bowlign together wif tian ling and together wif her fren lor...lol....ah....my bowling skills hv gone to worst instead of improvement...last time played at catay in last yr(2004)is much higher points and much skillsful....haha....maybe long time never play liao lor....lol....tml gonna be as high as possible to motivate d adudeince ya...hope to c everyone very high and happy to celebrate tis yr NDP ya.....tml reali is d last time to perform at padung in my motivators's custome liao....sob..sob...gonna miz all tis fun ya.....haha...maybe nxt yr gonna take part again...ya....

jus noraml days....ahead....again....

sigh*i heard tat my sec sch class is going to hv a class gathering at east coast...miss those days a lot..ya...sure miss those bad bois too....haha.....always luk to play wif us ya...though they are bad and rough...but when it comes to class problem,we sure r united....tml is 8/8/05...our sec sch got speech day,heard tat all sec 4 of last yr r ask whter they wanna go back...im going back too...watch shu ee and my ex-classmate got thier rewards....thinking of those days reali make me feels so.....touching......miss them a lot ya.....those days tat we usually stay back after sch in classroom to chat.......sing songs....wonder how much we hv all change and how much we all hv not change.........haha...lol....but can onli look forward...no use turning backwards...its all a past.....for now,jus wanna concertrate on studies.....and get into higher NITEC nxt yr in siemi ite....ya......and oso jus abt 2 more days to national day too...gonna present the best outta it ever...ya....then soon...very soon....its all over....last time to wear my motivators custome and dance at padung......last time to b as high as possible at padung ya....tis day is finally come soon.....frm march till now....all d long way down d road ya....training every thurs and sat....at simei ite,then at kranji camp...then finelly all d rehearsals and NE shows and review at padung.....and then,final peformance at padung.....

haha...jus a few more days to d actual national day ...ya....lol..

sorta excited for it lor....gotta buy d cyndi's album(tat teaches dance steps)....wanna learn lor...haha....here r some latest pix...haha..nth much todae....but but but....nxt week got a lot of test lor....sigh*stress lah.....then oso got graduation photo taking sessions nxt week too....haha....gonna look good on it...ya.....oh yea....todae....i got 2.4m run....for nafa test...but i fail...i got E grad....time is 17.13mins.....although i got an E grad consider pass but teacher still wan 16mins and above...so...poor me lor...gonna run again nxt week....ya....must try harder lor...

sorta excited for it lor.....gonna buy d cynid

what a bad lunch i hv at IMM 2nd lvl's kopitiam!!!

i clearly forgotten tat todae got additional BKK(Book keeping) lessons in the morning....opps....then,in the early afternoon,i got my BSA(Business appilications)test,so i hv a 2hr break loh....so i went to IMM's 2nd floor d kopitiam for lunch.me,betty and eevon hv sour and spicy noodles.but its sd be called as super untimate spicy noodles coz its too spicy.i onli took 2 mouthful of it then,immediately i burst into tears....its jus too spicy tat i drank all my water...(in a sec!)i even took agatha's water too....i used dram a lot of tissues papers to wipe my mouth,eyes and nose!its darm spicy.....wat d hell...!!!!gonna kill me out of it man!!!bcoz its too spicy....so i went to ask for a bowl of soup...i though i if i deep d noodles in d soup it tase better,at 1st,its alrite...but then,again i burst into tears agaion...lol....i cough a lot...and tears rolling sown a lot too......its still spicy....no use outta it!!!and so again i brough ice cream so it can earse d spicyness in my mouth.....phew*feeling better....haha....then,iwent back late for d nxt lessons...opps...can tell tat mrs seam ist happy bout it...ya....she's got a bad look.....opps......

jus noraml days....ahead....

and this is taken wif another NDP friends(Left,li ting)wif my ITE classmate friend(agatha) and me.
haha....tis is one of d photo taken wif my NDP friend(Chirst) together wif my sis(Right)

so darm excited for d actual day......donnoe what will happen lor....hahaha.....but im very into national day performance and oso very wanna do d best outta it.....haha...lol....

national day coming soon...

me and sis n our motivators customes...NDP 2005 rox man!

sigh*national day coming...then soon will be over....so touching....our hard work paid off....frm march,d audition rounds....then to training....then now...finally going to perform soon liao....haha....lol....so happy.....nxt yr might consider to take part in it again...lor....haha....now my mind is all on national day...gonna bring out d best....of all....hahahahaha....

yesterday is a high fun day!!!!

yesterday,we all hv fun at d review performance lah...fun fun fun all d way till nite lor....at 1st,we were abt to go out liao.....funny thing is tat,normally we all hv to w8 long time b4 going out 2 perform mah...so i got a candy frm agatha,so i chew it slowly.....then suddently,they say go out liao,omg.....im still chewing it....so i quickly chew it b4 im doing d chorus part lor....then after tat,we all going up to our position...then,gonna motivate d audience lor...sorta tired but fun lah...d audience was not so high at d 1st place....but i manage to motivated them lor....so we all have fun lar.....hahahaha.....u noe hor...when rui en n taufik come out n perform the rearch out to the skies,we motivators are suppose to dance our chourus part lar...then,i saw a ah ma in front of me,oso follow dance leh...very cute....so im sorta gald tat i manage to motivate them to play along n they r all happy n hv lots of fun lor....haha......oh...yeah.....nxt thurs n sat don hv training leh...yapee....so gr8t.....can relax lor...haha....then w8 untill on tat actual day,national day to perform then no more liao.....o...so fast.....thinking back tat time,still at d month of march...we all hv audition....then,got choosen.....then praticing...training...finelly,coming to d actual day for performance....then its all over....soon.....all our hard work paid off......the whole process.....lol.....maybe nxt yr,im going to join in again perharps....haha......ok...gonna pen off here.....

i gotta make new frens todae...

oh..yeah...by the way....gonna go to swiss's speech day tis yr,watch my fren n ex-classmate get their award to support them....n watch my juniors perform....hahahaha...lol....lol.....

Yeah!!!!national day is coming!!!!
oh...yeah...todae training...again i make new frens...so happy.......a pity cant go out wif them to play lah...gonna work on my test...sigh*CA so fast come sia.....don wanna take it,wanna flunk it.....but cannot lar....very important.....its another step to simei ite for BITC nxt yr leh.......sigh*work hard then......

feeling kinda down lately.....

Me and my NDP's friends and tis is my last photo taken last yr on chirstmas eve wif my best group of friends(StrengthZ)
This is taken on 25 nov 04.my graduation high tea
inuyasha

JJ Lin Jun Jie

sigh*so many stress......feel like almost cant catch up wif my classmates.......my studies arent doing any better.....feeling very presserise.......feeling hard on my work......especially SOT...now im working on accouting dept.....hard sia......feeling kinda tired too......feeling so....so....negative.......like 2 yrs ago...(when im sec1 n 2 in duearn sec)feeling down n not so good.....i feel like im getting weaker....must stop everything....maybe i try to forcus on my work more.....would feel better.....................n...i wanna improve myself too....gotta work on it....hmm........sigh*tats me alrite....likes to hide d real feelings n problem in my heart....haha........sob.....sob......sob......sob......sob......sob......sob.....sob.....sob......sob.....

today's national day NE show 3

wow....today's NE show 3,both my parents are here to watch me n betty perfoming...then after tat,we are suppose to went down d stairs then i got lost.so i follow chirst around....im quite scare when i didn see betty.....luckily got chirst lah...he bring me n go find betty...when i saw betty,i was trill.....thnx to chirst,i am able to find sis.

E 2nd Ne Show yesterday.

yesterday Ne show is a success.everyone was high and we had lots of fun.not like last week,so boring,ask them to take out fan,don wan,take touch lights,don wan.

nd NE show

rotten luck i got todae...

i hv a bad day todae...teacher ask us to log in to chat online in ITE forum n im e online who cd not log in,then i don wanna waste time...then,tat ZL ask me ot pay her back her watch.n wat stupid terms she got,saying must b stainless stell.(which is very ex)i new she wd ask for it.n a very ex one too.i hate her!

The NDP training yesterday at kranji camp

when i arrive i was late,but luckliy they have not start at the field.but then,i relise tat i was cuted in the wrong line.so on that ay,when i 1st pratice the sloting in formations,im right.im not suppose to b in tat line....sign*darm shity...u noe....i told one of e helpers there,there say they will see to it on tat day,sign* se to it,i think not enf time liao lor...so near to e NE show date,preview n actual day.no time to do a redo or a change.by the way,betty is still suspected tat shu ee gotta bf.its jus tat she doesn't wanna tok abt it or tell us.but im ok wif it..when she's ready,she'll tell me.as for weiling n dukie(SS),hmmm...mayb they noe bout'em....may not....dukie is good for now...he gotta gf,good for him...happy times....for me,i gotta goal...i noe what i wanna be...so im working hard to achieve it....

yesterday,fnelly can get a chance to return shu ee 's things back to the rightfull owner

yeah...now i felt a relief...her things is finelly returned back to her.and i oso got a chance to met up SS,and got his hotmail..yeah...1 more collection to my ex-classmate hotmail add...ok...now i onli got about 5-6 onli,hmmm still got a lot more to collected...well,nvm...o..yeah...tode got NDP....at kranji....ai ya...carrying my heavey sch bag along......n i bring along an extra book too...tat is OFP(Office Procedure)sign* so heavy....who call us back luck,cannot put in locker coz sch is rearrange new lockers for us.i wonder how long we will get our locker this time.well,my computer skills on excel has improved....now i find it a bit easier...weiling very funny leh...she ask me to bring my Pot file along...i told her no coz todae i don hv pot room lessons...wt for bring it to sch...n if i bring it along...it be heavier for me.....

lol...last period of the day

haha...last period of lessons today....so good....so boring sia.....going to sleep liao...so tired....now still got more work to do....later went back to swiss,gonna take hotmail add frm SS.hmm...mayb ask tian ling to come along...wonder if i get to c my ex classmates....wonder how they r doing....well,im looking forward to the NDP training tml at kranji camp.n oso tis saturday at padung....im rembering the steps......o..yeah...2nite got japan anime.....can watch iuyasha n shaman king....cool.....teacher crasy...so fast give progress test.....sign*still feel so bored.....n tired....i wonder how is shu ee???she went her often lately...n oso come home late...now am...got a little trouble wif it.....ok..getting hand on it...if shu ee here,mayb she can help me like she used to in sec sch....i wonder when i can get to see my express,NA friend again....maybe try to meet them out together someday...ok...maybe later i'll continued....

Last lessons typing....

hi.....boring....last lessons....but new teacher teaching us for tis week for EFW.....now im typying sneakly....haha...lol.....well,sign*im very happy...sob..sob....finelly i got my answer for bbk correct for the 1st time.im jus felt so great.my efford paid off.....i have put in hard time to give up some time to study...i finally got it right....but still very tired....im looking forward to the NDP training tis thursday n saturday....on thursday,we r not going to the padung in custome...but in casual wear at kranji camps.on saturday then at pudang in custome....my mother might be coming....yeah.....im jus so excited.....National Day is coming soon.....i will do my best...he

Boring lessons again....

haha...again boring lah...i so bad,teacher is teaching,and here i am typing my post here...lolx.....rofl.......now here got some aguement....done....boring sia..........later after school mayb go out wif mom,looking forward to it......o...yea....i nid to save up to about $50-$60 to buy things.....don't know when i can save up to that sum of money,some of it is to pay off my debt,some is to buy CD albums,bags......nid to oso(i wan i a lot lah) oraganise a gathering...asking all my frens back...seeing how much they have change and seeing how much they have not change.......miss them a lot....in the past,i used to fight wif them...play wif them.......wonder how they are doing now.....hope to see them back in swiss some other days.....ai ya.....must get back to work...oh yea...weiling was in the sales dept....she asked me to go to sales too....but ours is divide by teachers,cannot chosen our self.....they all so good leh....ai ya...really must get back to work...nxt time then tell more....so long....

Today's lesson is very boring...

today's the lesson so boring,felt like sleeping...luckly ended at 12pm.if not i really will sleep in class...but then,my stupid computer keps on poping up the pop up of dont know what delayed write failed....ai ya...dont care lah..jus used it lor....

The 1st time i hv been to a live pop corcert

way cool,i saw a lot of e stars performing on stage at Nee An City parade square.and of coz i saw my idol,JJ Lin Jun Jie.his so cool.and handsome.he is singing so great....

Happy Moments

Our Times TogetherWhen we were young,yet still best friendscalling each othersnames out loudThat time we got intotrouble but stayedby each others side.But when you saidgood bye therewere tears upon myeyes and before Ileft into the cold yousaid Those times longago were...Our Times TogetherAnd you know I willnever forget them. ~ Amy Mae Gallarde

Friends forever.tis is for 4T1 students.u noe who.

Some Friends are Forever Sometimes in life, you find a special friend; someone who changes your life by being a part of it. Someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop; someone who makes you believe that there really is good in this world. Someone who convinces you that there is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it. This is forever friendship. When you're down, and the world seems dark and empty, your forever friend lifts you up in spirit and makes that dark and empty world suddenly seem dark and full. Your forever friend gets you through the hard times, and the sad times, and the confused times. If you turn and walk away your forever friend follows. If you lose your way, your forever friend guides you and cheers you on. Your forever friend holds your hand and tells you that everything is going to be a-okay. And when you find such a friend, you'll feel happy and complete, because you need not worry. You have a forever friend for life and forever has no end. Laurieann Kelly

Poems jus for u,my frens(especially those who graduated wif me)4T1

You are my friendYou listen with your heartYou forgive without bearing a grudgeYou give of yourself...Wholely...Completely...My heart stays warm with the loveyou choose to shareMy life is full from the joys we sharethe laughter, the smilesYou listen to my problemsyet you choose to judge notYou listen with your heartand always hold out your hand...That hand that saysCome to me... I'll share your painI'll listen to your hurtsI'm here... Always remember... that as much as youare there for me,I am your friend too...and always will be... ~M. Louise Cunningham

My NDP training todae

wow....todae's traning is so tiring...we hv to redo n redo all over again.....its so tiring n i almost forgot all e dance steps.....phew......